


Shattered Glass

by mumbled_talks



Category: Finder no Hyouteki | Finder Series
Genre: Angst, Drama, M/M, Minor Character Death, Romance, Twins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-28
Updated: 2014-11-23
Packaged: 2018-02-19 02:25:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 18,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2370995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mumbled_talks/pseuds/mumbled_talks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Asami Ryuichi usually didn't mind being compared to his twin brother. But when it comes to a certain kind of blonde, he seemed to learn to never give up on it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for grammmatical errors or typos:3!

"Ryuuichi, do you want me to cook you something?"

 _Ah, that sweet, soft voice_ , the black haired guy mused silently whilst staring at those perfect hips swinging sensually as if it was inviting him to come and grab it as hard as his muscle provides him.

"Why are you suddenly offering me food?", the guy named Ryuuichi who sat comfortably at the main room's couch just chuckled at the blonde that was currently busying himself in the kitchen.

The blonde turned around to face another occupant of the room, then crossed his arms in front of his chest, "Today is my 2nd anniversary with Kinosuke and I want to cook for him. You two have the same taste in food, you should at least help me with the cook-tasting, alright?", at that, the 23 years old guy smiled warmly at him before chopping down the remaining bok choy on the wooden plate.

Those smile didn't make the other person smile back though.

It just ripped his inner feelings into two. 

The name's Asami Kinosuke. 35 years old. The leading businessman, the light in the Asami threshold. His kind personality was his plus point, and that made him more and more charming everyday he passed. 

His lover, Takaba Akihito, was only a photographer, who he met and fell in love accidentally while he was in the trip to Cuba. This photographer bumped into him at the airport and like in every cliche romance movies, they just attracted to each other the moment their fingers touched.

Unlike Kinosuke, Asami Ryuuichi was more, more different. The opposite. Both of them were born being twins. Same look, same appearance, same taste, but different personalities. When the two of them stood in front of each other, it was like staring back at your own reflection in the mirror. 

Remember, they had same taste, same taste in everything. And when it came down to a partner, they did have the same taste.

The charming blonde photographer that was introduced by his brother after he came back from Cuba, gave so much impact to his heartbeat the moment he laid his eyes on him. Everything that featured in that young man filled every quality to be the partner of an Asami Ryuuichi. And that was what he hated the most.

Every time he spared the time to visit them in Kinosuke's private penthouse, they would always greet him with that annoying lovey-dovey position. Such as kissing or hugging. Yuck. 

He hated it so much. So much it hurt.

The moment when he stared at himself on the mirror in his bedroom, he would always fight the urge to shatter that glass away. To break anything that reminded him of that fucking brother of his. He never felt like that before. Because everytime their interests met up, one of them would give it up on that interest. 

But Ryuuichi couldn't seem to give this perfect creature the chance to slip off his finger.

He wanted the blonde to himself. Kisses him. Hugs him. Embraces him. Places his marks on that porcelain skin. Savors his laughs. Protects him. And loves him like no other before. 

He wanted to hear his voice calling his name in lust. He wanted to hear his voice calling his name in need, layers in the same amount of love he would give him.

But that seemed like a far away dream. Where his own hand couldn't reach it. Takaba Akihito was far, far away from his reach. Even the fortune that he had couldn't break the distance between them.

The desired one was already less than ten feet from him yet he couldn't do anything to him. 

The sound of that card being swapped told them more than enough who was the guest. Akihito who was still in his pink, frilly apron ran little steps towards the door to greet him. Yes, him.

Ryuuichi felt like covering his ears. 

"Welcome home, Kinosuke."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the grammatical errors or typos!

A big, tall figure with a black hair covered all over his bald head stood in front of the front door with a briefcase and a secretary in tow. Once the door was opened for him, he smiled brightly at the person who greeted him first. 

"Akihito.", he spread his arms wide for his lover to catch, and soon they latched onto each other in the act called hugging.

"You are late.", the blonde pouted a cute pout while leaning his head against the chest that he came to love. His hold grew tighter than before.

"I'm sorry.", Kinosuke placed his nose on those strands of blonde hair and inhaled it passionately, filling his nostrils with every innocence and brat scent his lover could give him.

Another footsteps were heard from inside Kinosuke lifted his eyes to be met with a person he knew so much. Asami Ryuichi.

"Oh, you came!", he spoke rather cheerfully at the presence of his twin brother.

Ryuichi just sighed heavily but he didn't let it to be noticed. Because of course, he had worn that mask. The mask that shown indifference. He always acted like he didn't care in front of the couple but if he had to be honest with himself, he cared a whole lot about this couple in front of him.

"Your blonde photographer just requested me to taste his cooking. I highly recommend you to not eat any of his food today, that taste like dump.", he smirked.....or in this case, he faked a smirk.

At that, Akihito glared hard at Ryuichi, "Hmph! What a hypocrite!"

Kinosuke who saw the combat banter between his lover and his brother just chuckled out, "Okay, okay stop right there. Aki, no matter how bad your cooking is, I will eat it.", he smiled a radiant smile before kissing the blonde's forehead.

Ryuichi twitched an eyebrow at that. _Tch._

Akihito replied that smile before rushing back to the kitchen, continuing his cuisine for his partner. 

Kinosuke walked inside the threshold before putting a hand on his brother's shoulder, "Father wants to see you.", he said.

Ryuichi only nodded at the news. He then excused himself and let the door behind him closed automatically. A breeze came along with it the moment that door closed any space in the doorframe. He let out another tired sigh before stepping away from the threshold.

Only God knows what kind of sounds would come out if he stays longer.

 

* * *

Arriving at his own mansion, he stepped inside his own home with a loud stomp on the polished wooden floor with Kirishima in tow. The mansion was terribly silent like no one had ever lived there. That's just what kind of an Asami family was.

The only woman in the house, Asami Ryouko, had passed away 3 years ago of heart attack. She got that heart attack after receiving a news that told her about his son, Asami Kinosuke, had received another treatment at their trustworthy hospital. 

Yes, even though their appearance remained the same, but their condition wasn't.

Kinosuke had asthma since he was just a child. A strong built body with a genetic disease from his own mother. 

Contrast from him, Ryuichi was given a strong and healthy body from his father, Asami Rintarou. But his old man was currently in a critical state with various cables attached on his pale skin and an order from doctor to stay in bed for the rest of his life. It was sad, but the Asamis had learnt more than enough to not shed any tear.

Ryuichi climbed up the stairs to go to the master's bedroom; his father's chamber. Twisting the doorknob slowly, he could see that the room was dim, with the beeping sound came first to his eardrums. Stepping with no sound, he inched closer towards the dead bed of his old man.

"Ryuichi.. Is that you?", that old voice called out.

A grip on the older man's hand told him completely that the person who held his hand was no other than Ryuichi himself, his second son. 

"Kinosuke told me that he wants to marry that blonde.", he weakly muttered out.

Hearing that, Asami's eyes widened and the hold in his hand tightened. His heart beat faster than before as he absorbed the information he just received. 

The older Asami chuckled, "I know you would react that way."

Before Ryuichi could counterback, the old man continued, "I've known you more than anyone else in this world, my son. You love that photographer, don't you?"

"I don't.", he glued his eyes on the bed sheet, "I know I don't."

"Don't lie to yourself, Ryuichi."

Ryuichi sat on the edge of the bed whilst still holding into that old, wrinkled hand, "I know I can't."

Asami Rintarou sighed, "You two are my prideful son, and I’ve got no more authority to decide what’s best for you two.”, he cleared his throat, “But one thing you should remember, make sure that you won’t regret everything you choose later on in your life.”

With that, the dying man closed his eyes once more and fell into a deep sleep, letting the beeping sounds lulled him into slumber.

Ryuichi of course was confused by his father’s words. What? He never regretted everything he choose for him and he didn’t need anymore advice regarding that.

But he simply didn’t understand what’s the meaning of risks once you were deep, deep, in the abyss of the simple word called love.

 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> phew hope u like this and yep im gonna put everything less than 3000+ words i think:/ i know, bad determination bahaha  
> anyway i hope u enjoy this and
> 
> I do not Viewfinder Series.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Getting another lecture from Kei

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for grammatical errors or typos!

Piles of paper were placed on his desk thanks to Kirishima. He had abandoned his work lately, so it was kind of his punishment. He didn't mind it though. He was used to work all day and night, without sleep, or eat (if it wasn't for Kirishima who kindly reminded him that he was also a human who needs his daily life). He didn’t have anybody who would wait for him at home, so he wouldn’t feel that burdened to come home late. Although if he asks for it, people would kill just to get the chance to wait for Asami Ryuichi at his penthouse. But that was not what he wanted.

He just wanted that one person, that one presence, and nobody else.

Asami felt like an idiot for wishing something that was incredibly possible for him to get. He had money, power, army, and could conquer whatever he wanted but just this one thing; one person he couldn’t conquer. And that person goes by the name of Takaba Akihito.

The shocking news from his dying father earlier sure shook him up a little bit, but he just wanted to shrug it off. At least he tried so desperately to shrug it off. The thought of his brother actually proposes to that desired blonde young man sure boiled his blood like no other, but he had fucking learn how to control his mind, his soul, so he wouldn’t waver and would always stand tall with a stoic face and steel heart. No wind could blow him off of the ground.

But one blonde could.

Right then, instead of working his piled-up paperwork, he watched the footage of the blonde photographer that was currently having fun with his two best friends; Kou and Takato. He had brought the two guys several times to his brother’s penthouse for an introduction. So his friend would know who’s the mysterious guy he was currently dating and Kinosuke would also know what kind of people that liked to hang out with his cute photographer.

One regret, Akihito didn’t introduce Ryuichi to them.

When a knock was heard from his door, Asami hurriedly clean out all the evidence that he was slacking off his job and stuffed his desk with more random paper. He knew who was just standing in front of that door.

“Come in.”

The opening of the door revealed his usual trustworthy secretary, Kirishima Kei. He wore a three piece suit just like Ryuichi and a transparent glasses hung low on his nose. He adjusted it a few more times before walking towards the mahogany desk in the middle of the room.

“Report.”

“We have already known who’s the culprit of the missing goods. He’s currently one of our club’s manager, Sudoh Shuu.”

“The one who manages Dracaena?”

“Yes sir.”, he cleared his throat, “And I assume he has some kind of connection with Sakazaki.”

Ryuichi let another exasperated sigh, “Just let them be for awhile. Their little ministration won’t bother my business anyway.”

To his surprise, Kirishima put down his report and slammed both of his hands onto that wooden desk, jerking the boss out of shock, “Look, Ryuichi. I am talking to you as a friend now. This isn’t healthy. You should stop thinking about that damn boy.”

The yakuza behind the desk just arched an eyebrow whilst lifting up the indifference mask; the mask he recently put on his face every time the blonde was on topic, “What are you trying to say, Kei?”

“I know you stole his footage earlier.”, he stepped back, “And before I came in, you were watching every move he make. This isn’t healthy I said, this will also affect your business.”

“I was not.”, Ryuichi spoke coldly, “After all, who’s stupid enough to stalk his brother’s lover?”

“ _You_ , are stupid enough to do that.”

There was silence that ensued about 5.6 seconds before Kirishima broke it, “I’ve been friends with you since junior high school. I can read your expressions, your moves. That’s why you can’t lie to me you hear that.”

Ryuichi wanted to argue that so bad. To yell at his friend that he didn’t. To deny the fact. But instead, his mask just shattered shamefully onto the ground as he finally let a really, really long sigh out of his mouth. Taking a cigarette, he lit it up and soon smoke it. Kirishima knew more than well that once the yakuza took his cigarette, it meant that something bad was really clouding his mind right then. The secretary just crossed his arms altogether and waited for an answer.

 “I don’t know Kei.”, he let out a long grey smoke before inhaling it once again, “I can’t stop thinking about him.”

Kirishima just got quiet and decided to just lend his friend an ear to listen, “Every time they are together, I just feel like separating them apart.”

“And then, I want to feel that boy alone. To never ever let anyone touch him. To cage him. To do everything so that no one could ever know that the boy exist. I want to be the only one who knows anything about him. Isn’t that.. weird?”, he covered his mouth while inhaling the nicotine once again; this time, a whole lot more than before, “And he’s Kinosuke’s lover on top of that.”

Kirishima shook his head slightly before refocusing his vision down on his boss-slash-friend, “Being in love isn’t weird, Ryu. You can’t choose anyone to fall with and that’s what makes love irrational.”, he smiled a little, “Just, don’t lose your mind over it.”

After that, the bespectacled guy turned his back to leave, “Wait!”, the crimelord called out.

“What is it?”

“How do I overcome this?”

That, was totally unexpected words that would come out of the most arrogant, ruthless, heartless crimelord of the world named Asami Ryuichi. Sure, Kirishima wanted so bad to laugh but hold it in. His friend was currently in a desperate state and even if he was a second hand of a crimelord, he still knew morals.

“Ask yourself. Do anything. But not too risky and don’t cause anymore regret.”, at that, he left the room with a slight ‘slam’.

Ryuichi could relate his friend’s words with his father’s.

Were Kirishima and his old man had talked about this before?

He just shrugged it off and continued his remaining work, before checking at the clock and dialed Suoh to pick him up. Overcoming the night and brace himself to another adventure of tomorrow.

Which would be highly unexpected for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have finished the forth chapter but i think i will update it shortly:/
> 
> I do not own the Finder Series


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for grammatical errors or typos!

As Kirishima said, yes, Asami Ryuichi was indeed a human. He really, really needed, a fucking sleep right now. He finished all of his paperwork at 4 AM and immediately dialed Suoh’s number to pick him up. The night had been hectic every hour he even couldn’t spare a moment to close his eyes and breathed calm breaths through his nose.

He stood from his desk office and walked slowly as to not stumble along the way, hell that could be more shameful than the fact that he had peed himself when he was a baby. Opening his door, Suoh was already standing with a mannered posture. “Asami-sama, shall we?”

Ryuichi only gave him a nod and rushed pass him towards the elevator that could bring them to the underground garage below the Sion office building.

Everything went as smoothly as a fair baby’s skin until he reached home. He just swaggered to his bathroom and washed his entire body before going back to bed lifelessly.

 

* * *

 

 

16:56 PM

Ryuichi woke up slowly yet steadily from his quiet duvet, adjusting his eyes to receive that merciless ray of sunlight that just came rushing to his pupils. He stretched himself to release some pain before carefully walking out of bed. Hell, why do I feel like an old man? He mused.

Walking towards his kitchen, he decided to take some late, late breakfast to fill his crying stomach. Just as he was about to make a toast, a note on the fridge with a familiar handwriting came to his view. Ryuichi snatched away the paper note from it’s attachment on the fridge before reading the text,

_Dear Ryuichi,_

_I see you’re still enjoying your goodnight sleep. The breakfast is in the fridge, just reheat it. You sure know how to do it right? Oh yes I’m sorry I forget that you’re already an old man!!:p Kinosuke said he wants to visit you._

_P.s: Don’t work too hard!_

 

_\- Akihito._

Ryuichi felt like breaking down soon the moment he finished reading that little note with hello kitty gracing the corner of the paper. He felt like crumbling it down within his grasp, but he couldn’t. He took in the beauty of that handwriting before deciding to pull away and do what the text said to him.

He opened the fridge wide and roamed his eyes over the contents, searching for the said breakfast his brother’s lover had prepared for him. He could see a hint of nutritious food in the corner and picked it up defiantly to heat it up. After finishing the reheating procedure, he went back to sit at his dining chair to feast at the simple cuisine.

The sound of ‘blam’ that came from his front door startled him a little but then he remembered what the note also said.

_Kinosuke said he wants to visit you._

His brother didn’t need to be told once as he stepped cheerfully into his little brother’s threshold, “Hey Ryuichi!”

Ryuichi didn’t spare a moment to glance at him as he just continued chewing on the food, “What brings you here?”

The older Asami sat on the opposite side of him as he just smiled warmly, “You sure had heard this from father, right?”

Thump. The sound of his heart fell to the pit of his stomach could be heard clearly in his eardrum. The adrenaline just made his inner organs do anything faster than before. He swallowed down the last thing in his mouth before closing his mouth shut in a tight, grim line.

“I’m gonna propose Akihito tonight, when we would have dinner by 7. Do you know how excited I am right now?!”, Kinosuke’s eyes widened and his mouth gapped into a charming laugh.

Ryuichi felt guilty then. Instead of feeling happy by the news, he felt more irritated. Irritated by that annoying news. Irritated by that charming smile. Irritated that even though they looked too much like each other, but he couldn’t be the one Akihito chose.

He let out a wry smile though, before standing up and strode towards the sink to clean up the dishes. Kinosuke kept following him like a good dog, “Hey, hey, I want your advice in this one. If I have to be honest with myself, I’m kinda nervous.”

Ryuichi laughed a little, “You’re the older one here, you should be the one who gives me the advice.”

Kinosuke walked towards the couch and sat comfortably while leaning against it. Just when Ryuichi came to join him, he felt his chest constricting as he found it harder and harder to breath. His twin of course saw the change of his expression as he face grew paler than before.

Tapping his shoulder, Ryuichi bent low, “You okay?”

“Yes.. Just feel a little bit asthma..”, he pressed his chest a little tighter than before, “You.. have my Ventolin Inhaler.. don’t you? Could you please.. get it for me?”

Ryuichi nodded and defiantly went into his room. Yes, Kinosuke had left that inhaler in case if he had asthma whilst visiting him. Since then, Ryuichi had kept his brother’s medication safe in his bedroom, where no one rarely comes in.

When a thing that looked like short pipe came into his view, he took it and strode back to the living room.

Then he saw it.

He saw a glimpse of light at the end of his dark tunnel.

Asami Kinosuke, laid on the floor with his hand clutching on his chest tight. He kept struggling for air but when he sensed that his twin had come, he lifted his gaze slightly and smiled, “Ah.. Ryu.. co-could you hel-help me here..?”, he helped himself to sit up on the floor with his hand still attached to his chest.

Ryuichi didn’t know how he say it, how he speak it out, but he just let it out,

“I don’t have your Inhaler with me.”

The younger twin’s expression grew darker the moment those words came out. He suddenly felt himself becoming more and more evil as he only want to laugh at the shock expression that plastered all over his brother’s face.

“Wh-what..? Then.. could you.. call my secretary.. for me?”, he sounded weaker when he muttered those words out. It became so hard for him to speak.

What surprised him the most was the fact that, his brother didn’t move an inch. He was pretty sure that his voice was loud enough for him to clear as Ryuichi was known for his sharp ears. Cold sweat started trickling down his temple as he crawled towards his younger twin’s leg; reaching for him, “Hey.. you hear me.. ri-right?”, the sound of wheezing came out from his mouth as he urged his respiratory pipe to function properly again.

Then, that moment came to claim him completely.

The moment he exhaled his last breath, and the moment when his eyes were closed shut for the rest of his life, or rather it was his life that shut away forever.

  

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chap 4 as i promisee:3 my homework is bugging me since yesterday so yeah..
> 
> I do not own the Finder series.
> 
> Random: Today I saw a poop floating in my school's infirmary toilet.. ugh..


	5. Chapter 5

Every human has his own evil side. No matter how angelic they might be in the outside, there must be something dark buried deep within their heart. And Asami Ryuichi was no exception.

Sure, he stole, he killed, and he never regretted everything he did in his bloody past. But he never thought that he would kill his own brother too. Sure, he didn’t kill him constantly, but he killed him slowly. Torturing him. Suffocating him. Until he couldn’t breath and died in his own brother’s simple penthouse.

Ryuichi didn’t cringe at all. He just stared blankly at the corpse that laid down below his mercy. That cheerful, kind, and bright Asami had died. He somehow felt like accomplishing something like no other before; even his successful businesses and dealings couldn’t defeat the euphoria he felt when his twin fell onto the ground and slept forever. From that moment on, he finally realized just how wicked he was.

But he didn’t care. As long as he felt complete, then killing his brother wouldn’t be a guilt to him.

Everything that came after that just rushed in front of him like a blur. Kinosuke’s secretary just suddenly came into the room and immediately checked his boss’ pulse; turned out there was none. The ambulance came very late and of course it couldn’t save the man’s life.

Ryuichi just stayed at the back silently, not muttering anything or showing any concern. Slowly yet steadily, trying to fade into the background.

He felt overwhelmed; he felt like he had won something big.

Finally, there would only be one Asami who would stand on top of the throne.

His happiness didn’t last long though, when the sight of a familiar young man who ran through the white halls of the hospital came into his view. His beautiful blonde hair bobbed up and down as the owner rushed panicky towards his destination. Ryuichi couldn’t help but admire those beautiful features on the love of his life when finally, his gaze landed on his expression.

It was not only showing panick.

It showed sadness.

An enormous amount of sadness.

“Where’s Kinosuke?!”, he cried out.

Ryuichi couldn’t even have the power to bring up his hand to greet the blonde when said blonde just walked pass him; dashing to the white room that held his lover in his peaceful sleep.

The crimelord walked slowly towards that room as he brought a hand to lean against the doorframe. He wanted to peel off his eyes from the sight in front of him but he just couldn’t. It captivated him in the most painful way possible.

Akihito reached the side of the bed and immediately brought both of his hands to cup his lovers cheeks softly. His face was wrecked by then, with so much wrinkled by his face’s posture. His eyes narrowed and his mouth gapped in disbelief; his cheeks were already soaked in tears as he inched closer towards the dead man’s face.

“You told me you love me, baka!”, he closed his eyes as more tears streamed down his jaw, “How could you..? And here I was waiting for your proposal to me..!!”, he cried more and more until the corpse’s face was wet with it too.

The photographer bent lower than before as he glued his forehead onto the other’s; muttering something quietly. And then he pulled back onto the man’s lips, and planted a chaste kiss on it, feeling the cold surface of his lips brushed with his.

Most of the other occupants of the room just stood there; stunned. Petrified probably. The view in front of them just ripped their heart apart mercilessly as the thing called pure love shone from those watered hazel orbs. Nobody had the heart to tear the couple apart for now. This was the right moment for the blonde to accept the truth,  the truth that death had mercilessly claimed his love.

Asami Ryuichi was also dumbfounded. No, it wasn’t the death that claimed the life of the man, but it was him. It was his selfish desires and jealousy that he had burnt deep in himself that caused his death.

He thought that once he had gotten rid of his other reflection, he would be happy, he would win the war, he would be the king.

But no matter how hard you hit the mirror, the shattered glass would stuck in your fist, causing you to feel the pain too.

Ryuichi’s heart clenched. He felt like vomiting; nauseous. He felt something that was bigger by his happiness swallowed him deep into the abyss. The feeling itself was overwhelming.

And that feeling was called regret.

 

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is this a lil bit fast?._. ive prepared several unposted upcoming chapters so its kinda piled up in my laptop and i want to post it one by one each day..
> 
> I do not own the Finder Series.
> 
> Random: seriously, cant gravitation considered as yaoi?:(


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for grammatical errors or typos

It was another rainy Friday night when an Asami Ryuichi stood in the middle of people who was currently surrounding a stone that seemed to be something important. Yes, it was indeed important, as it was the stone that resembled his late brother, the tombstone of Asami Kinosuke.

It had been precisely a week since his death in Ryuichi’s penthouse, and after a lot of arguments between his other families, they finally decided to bury him on that rainy day.

Everyone was neatly tucked under their black suits and dresses as they ducked down their heads to show the Asamis their biggest sympathy. The rain kept pouring hard even until the last group of relatives bid a teary goodbye towards the ash that buried deep beneath the tombstone.

When he was finally alone, Ryuichi stepped closer to said stone and looked down with his usual stoic yet natural face. He didn’t shed any tear even though his brother had given him so much since they were only toodlers. He gripped his umbrella tighter than before when that insidious feeling came creeping back to his chest; guilt. He closed his eyes shut and shook his head slightly to remove that uncomfortable feeling when he suddenly felt someone was standing beside him.

He opened his golden eyes slightly to face the other person and he was met with no other than Takaba Akihito, the one that caught his heart. Unlike what he had expected, the blonde young man didn’t cry like the day in the hospital. He brought a bouquet and silently put said bunch of flowers on the stone, despite of how wet the surface was.

Ryuichi could see in the corner of his eyes that the photographer was praying; closing his eyes and clasping both of his hands together. His face looked so pure, even though it was wet thanks to the pouring rain. Ryuichi quickly shared his umbrella to shelter the blonde.

Akihito fluttered open his eyelids slightly before sighing a sigh, “I am late for the funeral. I owe your family an apology.”, he said but didn’t face the tall black haired man beside him.

The golden eyed man turned his head around to latch his eyes on the gray stone once again, “Why are you late? Are you busy?”

“No. I did it on purpose.”, he smiled a wry smile, “Because I thought that if I attended a little bit earlier, I would break into a crying mess again.”

There was a long, pregnant silence between them when finally, the crimelord broke the ice, “You really love him, don’t you?”, he didn’t know why he asked that. He just felt the need to ask that. Even though the answer would most likely hurt him later.

Akihito touched the name’s cravings on the stone before answering, “Well, what do you think?”

Before Ryuichi could counterback, the blonde continued, “He showed me kindness, making me feel the warmth of the real world. How can I not fall for someone like that?”

Ryuichi’s heart fell from his chest down to his stomach. Those answer pierced right through his heart as it was registered into the back of his mind.

_How can I not fall for someone like that?_

Yes, how can someone not fall for a person like Asami Kinosuke? He was perfect in any possible ways. His handsome appearance, his kindness, his warmth, his gentleness, and his charm could melt any women’s heart into a squealing pulp. With a few sweet-words, that man could swept everyone off their feet; sending them straight to their own cloud 9.

Unfair to him, having the same appearances doesn’t mean having the same personality. Asami Ryuichi had always been the one who stand behind his twin, standing behind him as his shadow. Who couldn’t do anything to walk out of his track; destined to only follow him, not overpowering me.

Once again, that shattered glass hurt his fist.

He shot a hand slowly behind the blonde’s back as he was too immersed in his musing to comfort the young man in his embrace, but he immediately retreated his hand. He felt like a lowlife thug, who didn’t deserve someone as wonderful as Takaba Akihito in his grasp.

Since when did he become this pessimistic?

Suddenly the blonde towards him as he flashed the older one another charming smile, “Ryu, let’s move on and live life to the fullest, okay?”, at that, he went out from his shelter and rushed pass through the rain; his figure still enticed the golden eyed man even if it had vanished into a little dot.

Ryuichi sighed an exasperated sigh.

_You are my only life, how can I live life to the fullest?_

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay we are about to go into an angsty bus yeay.............................:")
> 
> I do not own the Finder Series


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> boom.

It had been another painful week since the funeral of the oldest son of Asami, and also, a week had passed since the last time he saw his beloved on that rainy Friday.

Asami Ryuichi, was in fact, not happy with his men's report that reported to him about the blonde wasn't as enthusiastic as before. He really loved the photographer's smiles, especially when it's on it's fullest. But since the death of Asami Kinosuke, the light that usually shone through that blazing hazel eyes that shown pure happiness had been dimly lighted. Even Ryuichi himself was worried and frustrated by that.

He had spent his day thinking about how to lighten up the boy's mood – even sending him flowers and his favorite flavored pocky – but it seemed he had failed miserably, as a footage of the boy ignoring all of his gifts in the Takaba's apartment. And instead, he kept staring out of the window as if it was something more interesting than his goods.

It angered Ryuichi of course, but he couldn't help it. This didn't seem so wrong. After all he just lost his love because of an ashtma and it hadn't even been a month since that traumatic accident.

But if he wanted to be honest, all he ever wanted to do is to comfort said blonde. To tell him that everything's going to be okay. To tell him that that losing one person doesn't mean a bad ending. To tell him that there's always one person who stands behind him to catch him everytime he fall. To tell him that the person is Asami Ryuichi.

Shrugging off that uneasy thoughts, he went back to the paper and reports ahead of him, scanning each sentences like a highly maintenance scanner before he heard a soft knock coming from his door.

"Come in.", he cued, whilst eyes still latched on the paper.

"Report", he demanded.

Kirishima Kei didn't need to announce his presence as his boss probably had known that since his loafers stepped into the room. Adjusting his glasses, he put both of his hands on his back as he stood tall and faced the Tokyo skyline just behind the crimelord, "We've observed Takaba Akihito like you commanded. He seemed to be lacking in food."

At that, Ryuichi raised an eyebrow, "What?"

"Since the funeral, we've heard his friends haven't seen him. And after we checked several footages, we've found out that he seemed to be locking himself up."

The adrenaline rushed towards the yakuza's heart, as he seemed to grow tense from those sentences that came out from his man, "What did you say?"

Kirishima let out a heavy sigh, "Ryuichi, to tell you the truth, he had been glooming over Kinosuke-sama's death. His colleguages at work also haven't seen him coming to work again. He locked himself u—"

"Then just fucking break his door and let him out of his freaking apartment you idiot!", Ryuichi rushed pass through his subordinate as he went out of the room with a loud slam. His trustworthy secretary just stood there in silence, slowly lifting his phone to his right ear to make a call.

 

* * *

 

 

Taking his own black sedan, he drove the car out of the underground garage and straight to the outside world; where the streetlights and the crowd of people greeted him.

Bead of sweat started forming on his forehead despite the cool breeze the AC gave out. He stirred the stir furiously; turning the wheels into the direction he desired. But no matter how far he went, he couldn't stop he extreme beating of his heart; like it would come out of his chest anytime from then on.

When he saw an old-looking apartment building not too far from his spot, he quickly sped up his pace as to shortened up the distance. Using his excellent driving skills, he parked the car perfectly on it's presented place beside the other old cars.

He got out of the vehicle and ran towards the stairs up to his target's apartment. Arriving in front of the desired door that had the 'Takaba' nameplate on it, he pressed the bell hastily and impatiently as he tapped the floor with his shoes.

After what-felt-like years, a weak sound of creak came from inside; revealing a very familiar blonde strands of hair into view. Akihito lifted his gaze to meet his guest and it was no doubt that he was indeed very surprise by the sudden visit.

And the colour of his face had changed into a paler colour, too.

"Ryu..? What are you doing? Come in.", he said simply, while flashing a smile that he didn't show from the bottom of his heart.

Once the pair was inside, Ryuichi started, "I heard you haven't gone out lately."

He could see in the corner of his eye that the blonde obviously jumped a bit on his spot as the statement reached his ears, "W-what are you talking about?"

"Takaba, it's not good for you.", the crimelord inched closer, "You are the one who said that we should move on and live life to the fullest, right?", he countered the young man back with his own words; silently hoping that the defiant side of his love would come to the surface and fight him back.

But he thought that he was just expecting things too, too much.

"What?! You told me to live my life to the fullest?!", he grabbed the older one's collar and tried to choke him, "Kinosuke was the only reason for me to live my life until now! And for fuck's sake, he was taken away from me! There's no hope for me, Ryu! There's none!!", tears started sliding down his cheeks as he loosened up his grip and started to sob, "..I thought that once the both of us were in the bond of love, nothing could separate us. Turned out we were too blind to even realize that death could.", *sniff sniff*, "And he even died from his own asthma. I've already told him so many times to tuck an inhaler in his tux! And yet I still love him for his stubborn will and carelessness.."

Those set of sentences stabbed through the crimelord's heart mercilessly as it ripped it to pieces. The concern in his dark, golden eyes transformed abruptly to fury, an eternal fury.

So, with all guts he had, he grabbed those two wrists and gripped it hard, making it immobile. Akihito jerked his eyes to meet with Ryuichi as he got confused. The yakuza didn't care about it tho, as he just lunged forward and kissed that lips that he always craves since the first time they met.

"Nn..!", Akihito squirmed.

But all of the photographer's protests went into the background as Ryuichi suddenly became deaf; he didn't want this to end now.

Then, he lifted the struggling blonde into his hold and brought him towards the bedroom; where he put him harshly.

It almost hurt him when he saw that frightened face of his love that writhed beneath his gaze, silently wishing that he could shrink into the bed. The older one ripped the young man's t-shirt to reveal that creamy skin, loomed over him, and without any further command, he dove; using his hands and calloused fingertips to touch every part of that porcelain-like skin.

Akihito grunted, and closed his eyes shut.

Ryuichi touched almost everything on his naked torso. Starting from his belly, navel, and nipples. The photographer whined but the crimelord could see that he indeed enjoyed all of his ministrations.

Until,

 

 

"-suke..."

"Kinosuke...", he moaned out, then tears slid down across those flushed cheeks.

Hearing that, Ryuichi slowly ran his eyes onto the blonde's beautiful face. If it wasn't for his crimelord status, he might break down that very moment. He gripped the duvet hard beneath his palms before growling out, "Why...”

Akihito then fluttered his eyelids opened slightly, and all he saw was two golden eyes that stared back at him intensely, "Why didn't you call my name?!", Ryuichi shouted at him, temper had gone beyond the clouds.

The photographer of course sensed something out of the sudden outbursts of the golden eyed man, "Ryu.. What are you—", before he could finish his words, that strong hand that touched him earlier, moved abruptly around his neck, suffocating him.

"Do you want me to tell you the truth, huh?", Ryuichi eyed the one he loved; he clawed on his hand to break free, but he pitifully was so overpowered by the yakuza, "I'm the one who killed your fucking lover. Your light of day, your warmth lecturer, I'm the one who had claimed him and sent him straight to death!", he declared.

Akihito's eyes widened at the declaration, "Ryu, don't joke around here—"

"I'm not joking, I'm telling you the truth. So feel free to hate me as much as you want, I'm leaving.", at that, he pulled himself up from the bedsheets and strode across the room towards the front door; closing it shut with a loud slam as an indication of him leaving.

And may never come back.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i should be doing on my science presentation instead updating this... /sigh/
> 
> hope this could make ur heart nudged a bit.. /le me slaps myself/
> 
> I do not own the Finder Series.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Excuse me for the grammar errors or typos..   
> unedited, too much homework, ouch

The night breeze immediately brushed his face as he came out of the apartment; deciding that it's best to shut away his feelings after all. He looked up to the night sky for about a minute. It surprisingly filled with twinkling stars that shone brightly upon him, maybe they were mocking him. He tsk-ed before continuing his walk towards the parking lot. He needed something to freshen up his mind tonight it seemed.

 To his surprise, a familiar man had stood in front of his black sedan, waiting for him. His transparent glasses and gelled hair had told him more than enough just who's the person. Ryuichi sighed a heavy sigh before approaching said man.

 "Kirishima, what are you doing here?"

 Kirishima adjusted his glasses and slowly inched closer towards his boss, " _That_ , should be my question, Ryu."

 Ryuichi didn't answer, he just strode pass the bespectacled guy to the driver's seat of his black car.

 "You told him about that, right?"

 At that, the golden eyed man froze on his spot. There was only one person in this whole universe that could guess what's currently dwelling in the crimelord's mind, and that person was no other than Kirishima Kei himself. Ryuichi stood tall then, backing his secretary with his wide, wide back. After 3 minutes of mute, the crimelord still hadn't gotten his voice back to counter.

 Fortunately, the secretary took the initiative to start again, "I know that Kinosuke-sama couldn't be dead from his ashtma. I checked your penthouse's footage, and found out that you're indeed the one who killed him _indirectly_. Thankfully that footage was protected from the outside, or else, Kinosuke-sama's army would stand against you.", he sighed, "Seriously, Ryu? I don't know that you could be this stupid."

 "Then tell me what should I do!", the yakuza raised his voice, "Tell me what should I do if I finally have gotten the chance to get rid of what's in my way! Tell me, Kei!"

 Kirishima was taken aback by the sudden outburst of his friend, but he stayed silent, "I didn't think at that time! I just suddenly got the urge to kill him, to cancel his proposing plan. I can't stand it, Kei! He was like my own reflection yet I can't win against him in anything!"

 "That's not importand anymore, Ryu.", Kei walked towards his boss and faced him, "What's important right now is that you've hurt Takaba-san beyond the point of turning back. How do you think you could change the blonde back to his old character? The cheerful Takaba?"

 Silence ensued between them before Ryuichi's laugh rumbled through the night air. It was layered with so much venom, so much hatred, "I don't know! Ha, how funny is this. I don't even know how to make him happy, how can I make him love me?", he continued to go inside his car and slammed the door shut, jolting Kei. He locked all the doors; preventing the secretary in case he wanted to hop into it and lecture him again.

 "Where are you going?", Kirishima asked with a pitch higher than before. He didn't know why but he constantly felt panick the moment his friend just suddenly laughed a humorless laugh.

 The yakuza slid down the window beside him so his voice could be heard by his secretary, "I'm not that kind to tell you. After all I'm a crimelord.", he started the engine, readied his hands on the stir, and placed his feet on the brake, "Send my regards to my old man."

 Before waiting for a reply, Ryuichi stepped on the gas fully and the car pulled into another journey of the night.

 

* * *

 

 

 He didn't know where to go, he just followed his hands' and feet's demands. If his hands demanded to stir to the right, he followed, and if his feet started to stop stepping on the brake, he followed.

 Everything in his life always felt this funny, but he didn't know that this might be the funniest in Asami Ryuichi's biography.

 He stirred an extreme left, ignored the lights, and just moved on to another block, then another, and another. He even didn't know where he was at that time. He just wanted to burst somewhere; to run, to scream, to do anything that's nearly impossible for a composed manner crimelord to do.

 The moment he reached an outside part of the city, the lights grew dimmer than before, until he couldn't see anything that's in front of him if it's not for his car light.

 He slid down the car window again, filling his lungs with the fresh, cold air and felt the adrenaline rush flowed into every cell in his body.

 Just like the photographer he loved. He always loved adrenaline, right?

 The moment he closed his eyes, he suddenly didn't remember every sequence of events that happened after that.

 All he knew was that his car flew freely on the night thin air like a bird, but gravitation pulled it back onto the ground. Or in this case, pulled it into the water. An enormous amount of water. An enormous amount of deep water that we usually called _sea_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, an absurd way for a crimelord to go to a hospital... but yeah, that's the only uncreative thing that crept into my mind...
> 
> I do not own the Finder Series.
> 
> Random: Brace urself, mid-term exam is coming...


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ryuichi's POV
> 
> Sorry for grammatical errors or typos!

_"Ryuichi, I want to introduce you to someone!"_

 Ah, why do I remember all of this?

  _This, is Takaba Akihito, my lover. You've heard about it right?"_

_"Hi, I'm Takaba Akihito!"_

 He offered his hand and I brought mine, shaking it with his slowly up and down as the first body-contact of greeting. That blonde smiled warmly at me and pulled his hand back when he felt that it's enough.

 The moment he pulled away, my chest clenched. I silently wanted more to shake that slender palm, touch it, and worst of it, make it mine. I awkwardly shifted my hanging hand onto my back and stepped back, observing the new person my brother brought from his Cuba trip.

_"You really look alike! I can't even tell who's Kinosuke and who's Ryuichi.", he excitedly said, widened eyes and smiles plastered all ovear his dreamy face._

 I secretly adored it.

  _"But you sure can tell who's your lover right?", Kinosuke spoke up, slowly acting sensitive all of a sudden._

_Akihito brought both of his hands and slapped both of his lover's cheeks before grinning cheekily, "Baaaaaaaka. Of course. You're one for me!", he kissed his cheek and hugged him afterwards; snuggling closer to seek warmth from the older one._

 My feelings, broke all of a sudden. It fell from the highest place, to the lowest one. Fell with a loud crash, like a glass.

 Seeing how intimate they were with each other, I started wondering just how far had they gone? How far had they touched? How far had they kissed?

 How far had they loved?

 Thankfully, that memory became more and more blurry as bubble foams started vanishing it away, or rather vanished me away from there. The darkness claimed me, the light lost me. My body felt light, lighter than before as my heart just beat calmly beneath my chest. I couldn't see the light, it eventually started scaring me a bit of the fear of the possibility of never seeing things again; becomes blind.

 I started wondering that maybe I had died.

 Or maybe, I started wishing for that.

 I remember very well when my car jumped into the water, drowning in it. How stupid of me, I didn't even realize that I was heading to the beach at the outskirt area of the city! But I might never regretted my foolishness.

 Probably because that accident gave me a higher chance to die.

 What if I was the one who caught an ashtma, and killed myself? Surely, that would be the greatest idea.

 The two would be together, and I wouldn't be hurting.

 Perfect.

 After a long, long journey of drowning, I somehow felt my body got heavy again, my heart paced up, and my eyes got blinded by the little dot of light that suddenly became larger and larger the more I drowned further.

 The fear crept onto me. It overpowered me the most when the gravitation kept pulling me into the light, forcing me to face it, to be blinded by it.

 My strong body, somehow felt weak. I couldn't fight against the current. I just let myself get swept away.

 When I reached that light, my whole body became so, so cold. I couldn't move my fingers. It froze. The light surrounded me.

  _I'm scared._

 "--u, Ryuichi!"

 That familiar voice kept calling me, kept ringing into my ears.

 I suddenly could feel my fingers moved again, my ears perked up, and my eyelids started to flutter away the darkness that kept me blind.

 The first thing that I saw was my friend's worried face, Kirishima Kei, and my other several goons behind him. The light turned out to be neons. The antiseptic smell shot into my nostrils as I cringed in pain, finally feeling that I was really not okay.

 It turned out that something that somehow resembled a bowl covered my mouth and nose, and a tube seemed to be attached to it. The sound of heart detector reached my eardrums the moment I shot my eyes open, scanning the whole white room.

 I was in a hospital.

 "Quick, call Yamamiya-sensei.", Kei commanded, and a man in black wearing sunglasses ran out of the room, doing as he was told.

 I ran my eyes towards the bespectacled guy that just ordered someone, fluttering my eyelids open as I spoke weakly, "Kirishima.."

 The guy immediately turned towards me as he inched closer, "Ryuichi, don't talk. It's been two whole days now since you fell into a deep comatose. Better save your voice until the doctor's here, alright?"

 Just as I was about to counterback, a man in a long white robe rushed in with some nurses in tow. A stethoscope hung low around his neck as he moved towards me closer, "Ah, thank Godness, you're finally awake, Asami-sama."

 "Yamamiya-sensei..", I called lowly. This tube just prevented me to speak stronger like before.

 "Please, for now you have to stay in bed, Asami-sama.", the doctor smiled, "Ah, Kirishima-san? I hope to speak with you, shall we?", Kei nodded and afterwards left the room with the other occupants, leaving me alone with the sound of that heart detector accompanying me.

  _Why am I still alive?_ I asked myself.

 The memory of that night came rushing to me again. Along with the pain, and the regret.

  _Why did I kiss him?_ Silly me.

 I felt stupid. I finally regretted everything.

 So, this is what my father meant at that time?

 The efforts I put on to go near him was instantly crumbled down the moment I killed my twin; my reflection.

 I finally realized that Kinosuke was not the one that caused the distance between me and Akihito grew even further.

 It was me.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have math for tomorrow why am i doing this?!?!?O_O
> 
> I do not own the Finder Series.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for grammatical errors or typos!

 Sun showed itself the moment when the clouds gave away. The street came back to life, as it immediately filled with business people and students that were currently on their own ways. A perfect day for going out, for jogging, for meeting up with friends, and for going home after taking some hospital treatments.

 Kirishima Kei led his boss down the hospital's hall and Asami Ryuichi himself walked behind him, with his black tux drapped all over his wide shoulders. He strode confidently through the patients with his sharp, piercing, golden eyes. His other boys had gone to their respective positions in each area of his territories, so it was left with only his secondhand man by his side.

 He was not surprised though when he saw Suoh standing outside with a hand opening the car door. Ryuichi didn't question that, as he defiantly hopped into the car and the door itself shut beside him. He leaned against the comfortable sofa and slowly closed his eyes. Welcome back to real life.

 Suoh wisely chose to pull the car into a morning journey to his boss' penthouse. After all, Yamamiya-sensei had mentioned to give the crimelord some rests before he goes back to his daily routines. He was afraid that the normality of the yakuza's breathing could be temporary, so he politely said to the guards to not give their boss any more work for now.

 Hearing that, Kirishima immediately set the guards' schedules for that day. He would most likely handle the matters at Sion and Suoh would control the security system for each warehouses in their possession. Asami's guards were no doubt, the best of the best.

 At least, Ryuichi could relax for the day knowing that it's his day off. Maybe he could just sleep all day and forget everything.

 

 

 After a 45 minutes drive, the car had finally arrived at the familiar underground garage. He went in alone, well probably because his men had to get going to their work.

 He rode the elevator to the top floor of the building and walked through his own floor.

 Yes, his own floor.

 As he stood in front of his door, he swapped his card and the door opened up with a click. The distinctive smell of his own room flowed immediately through his nose as he suddenly felt homesick. He opened the door wide - thinking that after this he could gather enough sleep - but what's in front of him just made his determination crumbled down.

 The familiar blonde photographer, sat on his sofa and stared blankly at the black tinted TV of his. He was expressionless; didn't know what caused that.

 Ryuichi froze on his own spot for about 6.7 seconds before finally gathering up his guts and continued to travel down the genkan. Akihito realized his presence entering the penthouse as he defiantly turned to face him. He smiled but there seemed to be something wrong in that smile, Ryuichi could sense that.

 "Ryu—"

 "What are you doing here?", the older man coldly spat out, whilst avoiding that smile.

 The young man immediately frowned as he strode towards Ryuichi with loud stomps, "Hey, I heard you went into the hospital two days ago so I'm just...", he looked down, "..worried."

 Ryuichi felt like holding his breath at that, as he stood, towering the blonde beneath his gaze. Akihito looked up then as he brought up a hand to carress his cheek, "Are you okay?"

 The older one's traitorous heart paced up the moment the warmth from that slender palm reached the cold surface of his cheek. He was fighting the urge to hug him at that. The blonde that he adored from afar now was so close, he didn't even have to move an inch to hold him.

 "If Kinosuke is still alive, he would probably worried as hell.", he laughed.

 Hearing that, Ryuichi's temper shot beyond the clouds as he reflexely grabbed the gun that was staying calmly in his holster since he left the hospital. The crimelord held the gun right between the photographer's eyes as he venomously said, "Don't you dare call his name again."

 Akihito was obviously frightened by the sudden threat, but he chose to fight for it if he wanted to know what's going on, "Ryuichi, I've forgiven you for your stupid mistakes. Although it's hard for me. So you don't have to feel guilty anymo--"

 "That's not the problem.", the golden eyed man countered back, "That's not the fucking problem."

 "Then what is it?", the blonde urged, despite the adrenaline that kept rushing towards his heart, "What is the problem that keeps bothering you? Ryuichi, I'm sure if you talk this out, you wouldn't be messed up like this!"

 The older one's hand trembled a little, he lowered down his vision as he venomously spoke, "You."

 "What?", the photographer stepped back, thinking of all possible reasons why this man has problem with him.

 "You are the freaking problem!", he shouted.

 "What do you mean?", Akihito confusingly asked, "Have I done something wrong to you?", he looked at the crimelord in the eye, silently pleading and interrogating for an answer.

 Those eyes were killing him.

 The blonde didn't even have the chance to ready his guard up when a hand suddenly shot to grab his smaller one and brought it up to the older man's left chest.

 The gun fell with a loud clatter.

 "Yes, you have done this.", Ryuichi said, hand clutching tighter.

 Akihito could feel the uncontrollable beating under that thick suit. The messed up rythm was immediately sent towards his palm the moment he came in contact with it. Akihito still tried to figure out, _just why does his heart speed up?_

 In the midst of his dwelling, Ryuichi answered his unspoken question, "You have done this. You have made this beat ridiculously fast just by standing beside me. You have made this kind of beat to be yours. You have made me into a kind of person an Asami Ryuichi would nearly impossible to be. You have made my mind grows irrational. You have made me kill my own brother, my own twin..", he took a deep breath, "You have captured me."

 At that, Akihito jerked his hand back and clasped it against his gapping mouth. His hazel eyes widened in disbelief as his eyes threatened to water, "No way..", he stumbled and fell on his ass flat on the wooden floor, "You can't be serious..."

 Ryuichi didn't say anything.

 But his eyes spoke more than necessary.

 "..this is wrong..", Akihito breathed out whilst holding in the urge to cry.

 The blonde man then stood up and grabbed his backpack, striding pass the frozen man that was taller than him. He gripped the doorknob of the front door and opened it wide; planning to leave, "Ryuichi.."

 There was a pause between them, "..you are the _lowest_ kind of man I've ever known."

 The sound of a door shutting close woke the crimelord from his musings. He defiantly fell on the floor with his hands clawed the ground. The metal gun that was laying lifelessly just beside his fingers mocked him.

 The crimelord couldn't lie to himself that he honestly wanted to _cry_. All this pressure that he built himself was trying to knock him down, to crumble him and bash him flat on the ground. To kick him out of the field.

 He had been called and marked as 'the lowest human on earth' several times before, and he could act indifferent towards it. In fact, his ears didn't even perk up a bit from such mockery.

 This time though, his mask shattered in a billion pieces.

  _What have I done?_

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tomorrow's the final day of midterm exam!!! and im planning to edit all of my stories tomorrow as well#:-s  
> and im planning to post another AU fic...maybe tomorrow, or the day after tomorrow, or yeah.. anyway IM SO EXCITED FOR TOMORROW LIKE I CAN DATE MY LAPTOP FREELY AGAIN WOHOOOOOO
> 
> sorry, ignore that.
> 
> well, idk if the sequences of event in this story make sense or not so pls spare me if theres something amiss about this story so far and pls dont hesitate to point it out so i might edit it tomorrow!!>.
> 
> I do not own the Finder Series.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Excuse me for grammatical errors or typos! unedited (maybe i will edit it today along with my other fics)

Minutes become hours, hours become days, days become weeks, weeks become months, and months become a year. Yes, it has been exactly a year since Asami Ryuichi ever saw the beloved blonde again. After he had driven him out of his penthouse long, long ago, he never had the guts to meet him or just...see him from afar. He felt himself despicable; unworthy. Takaba Akihito hadn't done anything wrong to him. He just cared for him and loved his brother too much. Ryuichi on the other hand just made everything became so complicated, like a knot with no end.

 He had sometimes thought that maybe it's best for him to leave Japan and make a landmark on another country, but his father had denied that request and commanded him to stay in their country. Since the death of Asami Kinosuke, the old man had never wanted to see his son go anymore, so he trapped his only son in his reach. Ryuichi felt troubled at first but he just shrugged it off. His old man had 2 more years to live, so it maybe best for him to comply to the old man's demands, right?

 Asami Ryuichi had been expanding his business since then. He might be a perfect businessman on the outside, but he's shrewd on the inside. The number of his clients had gone through the roof. They would always chose him first before anyone else; their trust on him was unbreakable because well, an Asami is a pro in everything he does. And if the client doesn't defy or oppose him then, he would stay loyal with them as well. He also strengthened up his armies, thanks to the loyalty his men had given him. Lots and lots of enemies or rivals had stood against him but once an Asami reached the top, it would be almost impossible for them to take him down. It took years, no, ages for them to do it.

 He had changed. He had become an emotionless bastard, like a person who had never known what's love. He didn't regret it. Nah, he was far from regret. With this, he would become untouchable, undefeatable, and anyone who dared to oppose him should think thrice before doing so.

 But sometimes that hole in his heart started to ache again; forcing him to open the old files that he had vowed to keep it safe underneath his office desk. The file itself was so tempting he sometimes couldn't resist to open it. There was no one who had the key to the desk, only him.

 So, one good afternoon in Shinjuku, he decided to relieve his stress with that file. Fishing the key and unlocking the desk, he opened it and found some folders in it. He grabbed one and observed one, then go to another, and the other.

 They were the photos of Takaba Akihito. A lot of them.

 A smile suddenly crept up into his lips as those pictures were absorbed into his eyes. The pictures of the boy's smiles, laughs, pouts, they were all in there.

 He almost shot the door when someone knocked to disturb him from his free time. Ryuichi then collected all the files and tucked it back neatly in his desk. "Come in."

 Kirishima Kei politely came in and sported himself a bow before stepping into the office.

 "What brings you here, Kirishima?"

 "I've received the report from our men saying that somebody had planned an attack to one of our warehouses, number 5."

 At that, Ryuichi's ears perked up, "Another fools who try to oppose me? Fine. Let's check them out.", the boss stood up from his seat and walked towards the door. Kirishima had already followed him obediently.

* * *

 

 The screeching sound of the wheel had come to a halt when that familiar black limousine stopped in front of a dirty looking building with several cars parked in front of it. The king set his foot first thing on the pavement before revealing himself under the pale light of a full moon of the night; just like a wolf that comes out to howl and hunt its prey.

 His men were quick as usual, they had already held the gangs captivated on their knees with their hands tied behind their backs as they lowered their heads in shame. The yakuza boss then stepped in front of them as he observed the manhandled men one by one, silently deciding who's the leader here.

 His golden eye set on one of the men of course, who just glued his eyes on a pavement. But he didn't give out such a cowardice aura, so he should probably be the leader....or the secondhand man of the real leader.

 "Let's just get down to the business, shall we?", the boss crotched down and looked at his enemy in the eye with his piercing golden orbs, "Who sent you?"

 The man – surprisingly – just glared at him and barked back in... Chinese. Ryuichi sighed at that. _How do I interrogate them while they understand me yet I don't understand them?_ He mused. He may be an intelligent man but he hated Chinese as much as he hated sweet..for some personal reasons of course.

 Without any further command, a man in black came from behind him as he strode pass Kirishima, who didn’t protest at his sudden entrance in the middle of the room. He shifted closer towards the golden eyed man before bowing his head a bit, “Asami-sama, if I may?”

 Ryuichi didn’t flinch at all, he just nodded and gave him a way to step through. The new man then crotched in front of the captives and began to interrogate them in Chinese. The crimelord had always been relying to him in this kind of problem because well,

 He’s the only Chinese that works for him.

 The Chinese man talked fluently to the manhandled men, and the captives started barking back again, suddenly found an energy source from out of nowhere. Their shoutings were annoying, noisy. Ryuichi even felt an itch in his index finger, fighting the urge to shoot them death at once. But he held himself tight. He had to be a patient man to know something gold.

 After 15 minutes of angry banter between his man and his enemies, the Chinese goon stood up and faced him.

 “How is it, Yoh? What did they say?”

 The goon who was actually Yoh, cleared his throat before speaking, “It appears they work for Fei Long-sama.”

 Ryuichi was honestly taken aback by that. _Fei Long? What does he want?_

 Fei Long was Ryuichi’s old…friend. Well, _was_. After several circumstances that happened between them regarding Fei’s family, Ryuichi decided that it's best for them to separate after all. Ryuichi is no good for the Chinese man, so does he.

 So, if in this case Fei Long is involved, then that meant no good.

 "Have you asked the necessary questions, Yoh?"

 The goon only gave his boss a nod, before standing beside him and waited for another order to be commanded.

 But what came after that left him speechless though, as suddenly, an insidious metal thing came out of the crimelord's holster, and he even pointed that shining thing onto one of the captive's face. The boss really didn't like the Chinese after all, he seemed to want to finish this quickly.

 "I wonder what kind of face that Fei Long would be showing if I shoot his beloved goons here in his own target?", at that, Asami Ryuichi once again stood tall towering them. The gun was placed exactly between the eyes, the perfect place to shoot a bullet.

 Just as he was about to pull the trigger, the sound of police sirene echoed throughout the warehouse; startling the men in it. Ryuichi's men immediately drew their guns out and readied themselves to face the unbelievably brave police. Kirishima moved closer towards his boss in case he needed a backup.

 "This is the Tokyo district public prosecutors office task force. Don’t move!", a man in black with glasses on pointed the gun to everyone that were presented in the warehouse with the other policemen following suit.

 Ryuichi was pleasently surprised when he saw the leader of the police army, his long-time friend, Kuroda Shinji. The prosecutor just jerked his head towards the helpless captives that knelt on the cold ground as he silently signalled his men to arrest them.

 "I honestly expect to see you here. After all this is your territory, Ryuichi.", Kuroda moved closer towards his friend.

 "Heh. And I've never expected you to stick your nose in this kind of case. Related to low-leveled mafias and all.", the golden eyed man quipped while smoking his familiar Dunhills.

 Kuroda chuckled, "Don't you dare patronize my men. When your ex-brother-in-law reportted in his pictures about them dealing some shaddy dealings, I constantly went to check on them and here we are."

 At that, Ryuichi accidentally inhaled too much smoke and coughed a little, "What?", he asked; in disbelief.

 The prosecutor turned towards him with the same shock expression plastered all over his face, "You don't know?"

 "He came to my police department this afternoon.", Kuroda continued, "He seems to have observed the Chinese since their arrival in Japan. Thanks to his investigation, we could track them down.", he turned his face towards Ryuichi, "I thought you came because he told you to. Turned out you actually don't know a thing about it."

 Ryuichi's golden eyes widened; part in disbelief and anger. _Why did Akihito have to stick his nose into my business? Shit.. What is he planning to do?_

 "Kirishima, ge the car.", Ryuichi ordered whilst excusing himself.

 The secretary bowed perfectly before taking out his phone to dial Suoh.

_Maybe the blonde does have something to explain._

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took longer than I'd expected:/ well, that might be because i had a super writer's block. like really, i doubted about should i post this chap or not, but still, i ended up posting it=w=  
> anyway, i hope this story doesnt get crappier as it moves on  
> the next chapter may takes more time to get finished, as im also focusing on my school, editing, and continuing my other fic. so pls bear with me and stay tune till the end<33
> 
> I do not own the Finder Series.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for grammatical errors or typos! unedited.

 The chilling, crisp air of the night danced around the city sensuously, letting the citizens felt the coldness of it, shivering from it, sheltering from it. The only thing that you could lend on for sheltering was none other than a warm home, with your families waiting inside. Especially your beloved ones. They would wait for you, prepare the dinner for you, and they would urge you to eat it whether you want it or not, and the only reason was because they’re afraid you’d be starving while walking home through the cold night. They’re afraid of the fact that you walked home alone with an empty belly. They’re simply afraid you’d catch a cold if you don’t eat nutritious food soon.

 They’re simply worried about you.

 For Takaba Akihito himself, he was a loner from the start, so he really didn’t wish for that kind of things. He would simply go home, take a quick brush, eat his ramen, and go to sleep as soon as possible so he wouldn’t be tired for tomorrow’s adventures. There were no such thing as warm houses, warm families, just no. Not for him.

 But sometimes, he had to be honest with himself. He did realize that sometimes he craved for someone to actually care about him, care about his needs, care about his everything. Someone you could lend on whenever you’re hopeless and out of any possible ways. Someone who could show you something more important than any diamond in the world. Someone who could show you another way when you’re out of one. Someone to share the night with, to share the warmth with, to share the joy with, and to share the love with.

 And that was when he found ‘the one’, he thought. The mysterious golden eyed man, with slick black hair gelled backwards strode confidently through the mass of people the first time he met him in the airport. The blond was a photographer, a crime photographer at that, so of course he would immediately know if the man was dangerous or not. And yes, he did think so.

 The mysterious man was followed by big bulky men on his sides, even behind him. He talked on the phone busily, but sometimes he showed his charming smile, sharing his beauty to the audiences that took a glimpse of him. Including Takaba Akihito.

 The photographer couldn’t take his eyes off the beauty when he drew even closer towards him. His heart paced up and his eyes widened, he almost gapped but he held his jaw tight. It felt like the time had stopped right then, and the one who lived on it was only him, and that charming man in his three-piece-suit.

 Akihito couldn’t control himself when his legs just moved on it’s own, working it’s way to inched closer to the attention-catcher. He didn’t even blink. Yeah, he even stepped on his own shoelaces.

 And that’s how they met.

 The blond couldn’t really comprehend what just happened. He fell on the floor shamelessly with his camera bag fell on his side helplessly. The weigh his backpack gave him didn’t help him at all as he fell straight on the face. Knowing that the man earlier was still there, he couldn’t bring himself to lift his face up, to actually face someone at the moment.

 Until,

  _“You okay?”_

 The first gaze and both knew that this was it.

 ' _He’s the one’._

Akihito shrugged of the unwanted memories to sink in deeper into his mind as he continued his walk towards his apartment. It was small, but it was more than enough for his small presence. The bigger one was long gone so he didn’t feel the need to live on the wider apartment. It was enough.

 Sticking his key on the keyhole, he opened his door wide and moved inside, trembling from the cold air that kept lingering on his thin coat. Stepping through his genkan, the atmosphere felt gloomier than before. His apartment was only consisted on a single bed, a simple kitchenette with limited food contained, a bathroom, and a small living room. Everything was connected in a single room, except the bathroom. The Asami had offered to buy a bigger apartment for him but he refused politely. _No, from now on, I would do this alone_ , he thought.

 He dropped his stuffs on the couch and immediately stepped into the shower, washing off the dust of the day out of his skin. He diligently washed himself and afterwards prepare himself a dinner, a simple dinner of ramen. He ate it slowly as he turned on the TV, only to be met with the news he knew so well.

 The news about Chinese mafias being arrested by the person he put his article in charge with, Prosecutor Kuroda Shinji.

 “Faster than I thought.”, he mumbled out while slurping the yakisoba down his throat.

 He admitted that he did waver a little bit when he contemplated on handing the pictures or not. The hidden secrets the lingered in those three pictures could ambush a big, big Chinese mafia. It could give him a lot of fortune, and to be honest, he had been observing the Chinese since their arrival in Japan.

 But never had he thought that the Chinese was affiliated with his ex-brother-in-law. That golden eyed man. His lover’s one and only reflection, Asami Ryuichi. And that was what made him waver. He had decided since months ago from the moment they argued when the man came back to his penthouse, that he doesn’t want anymore business with said man. Not anymore. Not after he realized what’s the man really after. All this time.

 It was him. The blond was the reason he did such filthy thing towards his own brother.

 A buzz was heard from his front door, startling him. He neatly put his ramen down on the low table and traveled towards the genkan to open the door. He regretted on not putting any camera outside as he just opened the door clumsily without checking it out first.

 He usually felt relief when he was stared down by a pair of golden eyes. But he was frightened by it. Silently trying to run away from it’s glare.

 A glimpse of fear flashed across the blond’s hazel eyes as he pulled himself in with an enormous speed and tried to lock himself. But a hand prevented the door on closing as a venom voice came from outside,

 “Takaba, we need to talk.”

 The other person didn’t even wait for the photographer to give his answer as the hand that stuck on the door pulled the door harshly wide, revealing a frightened and fearful Takaba that stood, holding the doorknob like a life line.

 Asami Ryuichi stood tall in front of him with his big-built body, towering him. Those golden orbs burnt and it stared down on his prey, the hazel ones. The older one pushed Akihito inside and with a speed of light, he locked the door.

 Akihito jerked his hand out of his hold as he yelled, “WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?! LET GO!”

 The black-haired one didn’t answer, yet he kept holding both of the blond’s wrists mercilessly.

 The respond from him didn’t please Akihito at all, “What? Too scared to even talk, huh? You afraid of me n-“

 “What are you implying?”

 At that, the photographer quirked an eyebrow, “What?”

 “The news. You watched it, didn’t you?”

 Akihito immediately remembered and realized what the man meant. He just glared even harder than before as he countered back, “Oh. That. What about that?”

 Asami slowly pushed both of them deeper inside the apartment, “Why did you do that?”

 “What do you mean? I did it for myself. What? Did I trouble you? I know that’s one of your warehouses but please just let me do my work. And that’s one of your rivals right? Well, to cut the long story short, I simply helped you on removing them, right?”

 “YOU DON’T KNOW WHO YOU’RE DEALING WITH!”, Asami raised his voice impatiently as he pushed the blond down on his single bed, hands attached on each wrists like a metal restraints, “They are dangerous, Takaba. They would harm you!”

 “Ho, and now you’re telling me you know what’s dangerous and what’s not for me?! Huh?!”, Akihito barked out, his voice becoming more and more hoarse as he continued to have that argument going on.

 “Please, Takaba, just listen to me-“

 “NO ASAMI. YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT’S BEST FOR ME.”, the blond yelled, “BECAUSE YOU EVEN KILLED MY EVERYTHING THAT DAY. YOU KILLED HIM YOU FUCKING BASTARD!!”

 The pair breathed out irritating breaths as the photographer spat bitterly straight towards the man’s face, “I’m sick of you.”

 Pain flashed through that strong-willed golden eyes as he closed the distance between them and stifled the boy’s screams with a kiss. A strong kiss, a painful kiss, or whatever you want to call it.

 Akihito fought all out. Practically screaming and shouting, pushing and hitting, he did everything to kick the man out of his reach. He so wanted to push him out. To kick him out of his world. But that kiss just prevented him. It overpowered him.

 Tears streamed down his beautiful cheeks as he sobbed painfully when Asami didn’t even give him a moment to catch his breath.

 Everything happened so fast. Too fast for him to grasp. They were suddenly naked, skin on skin, and Asami did everything to his body. The heat increased, and there’s nothing that could be heard except the painful cries and the squeak sound of the poor bed.

 He used to enjoy it when a golden eyed man holds him.

 But now,

 He just wanted to scream.

* * *

 

 It had passed 4 in the morning when Asami Ryuichi found himself sitting still on the small couch in the middle of Takaba’s establishment. A plastic ashtray was placed just in front of him, and it had been filled with one, two, no, five stubbed cigarettes. And the man was currently smoking his sixth.

 The figure of the beautiful blond that he always admired was shown directly in front of him as gray smoke puffed from between his lips. Akihito was clearly exhausted; worn out. After all he had ravished him for 6 hours straight without rest.

 He inhaled the nicotine again, filling his lungs with toxic smoke as he rubbed his temple depressingly. He had done things wrong beyond repair. He couldn’t get back to the way he was before, he realized that. No matter how smart he was, how wealthy he was, he couldn’t change the way the blond look at him. He was a monster. A heartless monster that doesn’t deserve any love from any creature.

 But he couldn’t help it. He just simply loved the blond more than anything.

 With that thought hanging in his mind, he stubbed out the cigarette and stood up from his seat. Collecting his coat, he went towards the genkan and wore his shoes that were kicked-off heartlessly out of his feet when he came there.

 Just as he grabbed hold of the doorknob, he stole one last glance towards the presence that still laid asleep on his single bed.

 Asami Ryuichi knew more than anyone that if he wants to protect the younger man, it would be best if they don’t meet with each other. Don’t connect with each other. He knew that.

  _This will be the last time_ , he thought.

 Twisting the knob and pulling it, he opened the door wide to his view and a sunrise greeted him afterwards, showing it’s charm and warm towards the friendly citizens of Tokyo.

 After that, he walked out of the apartment, and wore his coat.

 Oh, he also wore that mask.

 That indifferent mask. 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow chapter 12:o didn't think it would come out to be so longg!  
> btw, hope u enjoy the story so far!
> 
> I do not own the Finder Series.
> 
> Random: Is it weird that I was listening to Lana Del Rey's Young and Beautiful while writing this?


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> excuse me for grammatical errors or typos!

Sunshine peeked through the curtain of the small apartment as it tried to wake the deep sleeper occupant who was currently still in his faraway dreamland. Those beautiful eyelashes fluttered sleepily as the owner sat up slowly. He woke up with a big frown below his nose, eyes sharpening from the light that struck right into his poor pupils. His back ached and his ass screamed in eternal pain from the penetration he got last night. The corner of his lips quirked at that, remembering that memory that was so unbelievable to be a dream. It was too real.

Ryuichi Ryuichi came to him last night. Those golden eyes filled with fury. Those golden eyes told him he should stay away if he still wants his body parts attached. Those golden eyes told him to just trust him, to lend on him, but he couldn’t.

No, he was going to live this out alone. There’s no fucking way he would trust that man again. No way.

Takaba Akihito swung his legs out of the edge of the bed and walked wobbly towards his kitchenette, eventually making himself a toast and a cup of warm milk. It was just an usual morning, birds chirping delightfully with each other on the branch and the clouds smiled along with him. There was no sign of any storm. In fact, he didn’t believe any of the man’s words last night.

He did what he chose to be right. He couldn’t control him, he knew it.

The blond finished his breakfast and went to the bathroom. Looking at the mirror that was hung above the sink, he found kiss marks and bites all over his neckline, neck, and ears. _Gross_ , he thought. He needs a scarf it seemed.

He browsed through his wardrobe and found his favorite t-shirt. That day he was planning to meet up with Kou and Takato. Those two mothers of his had been worrying about him since months ago, especially those gloomy months where he was still stuck in his long, deceased lover, Ryuichi Kinosuke. But that day, for sure, he would convince his friends that he’s alright. He’s still cheerful, he’s still shining. No more tears. What’s left for him was the chance to survive. To show his lover that he could still be alive without him. To make the older man proud.

So, stepping out of the apartment, he climbed down the stairs high-spiritedly as he clutched his camera bag tightly; backpack attached as usual. He immediately ran towards the busy street without even noticing something.

Something that hid in the shadow, watching him.

 

* * *

 

 

“Great job, Takaba. You may be dismissed for now.”

Hearing that from his boss, the blond smiled widely as he bowed politely. He just got a big tip from that Chinese scoop of course he felt great for that. He could pay even 3 months rent! How could he not be excited?

Akihito exited the building almost immediately and collided himself with the crowd, searching himself a way out of the mass of people to the place where he told his friends to meet up. The city were busy as usual, well, welcome to Shinjuku. Fresh evening air shot through his nostrils as stormed his way. His heart skipped a bit when his intuition told him something so suddenly.

Told him to run. Told him that there’s someone watching him.

The photographer gulped down the lump that was built in his throat out of the blue before pacing up his speed. But really, since this morning he got out of his apartment, he had already been feeling that someone was watching his ever moves, watching his routines. But when he looked back to ambush the stalker, he found no one, and nothing suspicious. That’s weird. And because it was weird, he just shrugged off the uneasiness and continued on walking.

 _Maybe it’s just me_ , he kept telling himself.

Walking turned into face-walking, then within minutes, turned into running. The suspicious shadow that kept haunting him in the dark pumped up his adrenaline and he had enough of that. He had to reach Kou and Takato as soon as possible. He ripped his way through the crowd as his eyes widened, searching for a way out. Why’s the place we’re supposed to meet up seems so far away? He mused.

A hand shot from behind him and grabbed his left wrist, immobilizing and freezing him in an instant. Akihito grew freak out and started jerking his hand away from the offender. His mind then started to wander off to last night’s event, with Ryuichi. His words echoed in his mind several times like a broken-record. Fear crept up to his chest as he registered the words better, as the words sunk in deeper into him better.

He felt like a thunder just struck down his whole presence as his captor came closer towards him from behind and whispered those venomous words insidiously,

“Takaba Akihito, you are going with me.”

 

* * *

 

 

It was just another night in Sion building where Asami Ryuichi just sat idly on his comfortable office chair. Even though he had told himself numerous times to stop thinking about the blond, he couldn’t just comply to it. His mind kept wandering to the photographer, how’s he doing, what’s he doing, and so on. The event he had with the Chinese before kept threatening him, kept telling him that there’s something that was obviously a no good would happen to the blond.

Liu Fei Long could do anything, even in this country.

The golden eyed man rubbed his temple depressingly as his lost his indifferent mask that he wore this entire day. He was so, freaking worried, about the future conjectures that might happen. He kept assuring himself that Fei Long would not do any harm to the blond. No, he couldn’t simply let that happen. He being separated from the blond was the way to protect him. If Fei Long knows nothing about his relationship nor his feelings towards Takaba Akihito, he could just shrugged off the detention of his men. After all, he didn’t lose something big at that moment, so a certain photographer shouldn’t taste his wrath, right?

A knock from the door woke him up to reality as he immediately gathered his shattering indifferent mask and wore it before cueing for the knocker to come inside. The wooden door opened up revealing Kirishima Kei who looked a little bit worn out before he kept gasping for air.

Shrugging off the unwanted thoughts from the sight of his worn-out man, he spoke coldly, “Report.”

Just as Kirishima was about to open his mouth to speak up his said-report, the phone in Ryuichi’s pocket vibrated vigorously as a sign of an incoming call. The fixer fished his phone and observed the ringing object for a moment. It was from an unknown number. That gave him a little chill.

“Asami speaking.”

“Oh, Asami! It’s been so long, don’t you think?”

The intimidating happy greeting he got woke up his alarm in an instant as he venomously replied, “Who are you and what do you want?”

“Impatient as always.”, the person at the other line chuckled, “You forget about me? How rude.”

Kirishima could see his boss was already losing his composure as the phone kept speaking, “It’s Fei Long, your long-time friend. I got something for you, better check it, will ya?”

Ryuichi’s chest clenched and was about to say his argument, but the phone was cut off before he could mutter something. He then looked towards his laptop and an unknown email came up on his notification box. He glanced a look at Kirishima and defiantly opened up his inbox. A video was attached and he opened it.

Maybe it was the last thing he would want to see.

There, shown on the footage, Takaba Akihito, his clothes were already torn out of his body and there were a few scars bore upon that beautiful chest. He was gasping for air but his hazel eyes seemed to not focus anymore. His hands were tied up on each side of the square wall, so did his legs, opening up and showing the audience his full body, his curves and edges.

There was a sting in Ryuichi’s corner of eye when Fei Long came into the video. His black long hair flowed freely as he smiled sadistically towards the poor blond. The audio was on as the Chinese began to chuckle, “Hey Asami, I just caught a stray kitten in the street of Shinjuku today. What do you think?”, he ran a hand on that porcelain like cheeks and the captive shivered almost immediately.

“Oh, he shivered. How cute.”

The fixer fisted both of his hands as his eyes kept latching onto the monitor. The Chinese’s gestures kept killing him softly as he confidently strode towards the boy’s side. The golden eyes widened when a sharp, little knife came out from Fei Long’s long cheongsam’s sleeve.

As if reading the viewer’s mind, Fei Long grabbed the knife and ran in towards the cheeks he just touched minutes ago. “Don’t you think he’s cute? Especially for a fragile.. pet?”

“I believe this is your new pet? My men saw you coming to his apartment. And this kitten here even dared to knock my men off, I think some punishments are in order, don’t you think so?”

“Oh you want to save him? How sweet.”

Ryuichi’s heart kept beating furiously as he stared down on the video that was shown for him only. His breath almost hitched when the Chinese man spoke again, “You still got my deed, don’t you?”

“Why don’t you give it to me, in exchange for this pretty boy here?”

Akihito was seen blinking before he faced the camera. The shock was clearly drawn all over his face. He seemed to be a little unconscious back then, and as he glanced a look at Fei Long, he immediately thrashed around his restraints, “What the fuck?! Let me go!!”, he yelled.

Fei Long chuckled, before impaling the sharp eye of his knife a little bit into the soft skin of the boy’s side, earning a painful cry from that little mouth, “You’re now being watched by your master, Asami Ryuichi. And guess what? He said he wants to come and save you. Isn’t he so sweet?”

Ryuichi was tensed the moment he saw the look of the photographer’s face. It was divided into two expressions. The first part was disgust, and the second part… it was relief. The golden eyed man immediately felt the stinging in his heart grew worse as the blond began to open his mouth, speaking up his anger, “Asami…”

There was a pregnant silence between them before the audio was on again, letting out the hoarse voice of Akihito came alive, “I WILL HATE YOU FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE IF YOU EVER CONSIDERED ON SAVING ME! YOU HEARD ME YOU BASTARD!”

  

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay this story is getting crappier and crappier dont you think?..  
> comments or suggestions are welcomed! i really need it btw for future chapters..
> 
> I do not own the Finder Series


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> excuse me for grammatical errors or typos! a lil (or a lot?) OOC i guess..

Kirishima Kei could feel it. So well. The moment that footage was off, he could see a giant demon emerging from his boss’ very presence. The murderous intent was drawn all over his perfect-chiseled face as his golden eyes stared solemnly on the black monitor. Just minutes later after the video was dead, another incoming email came up, containing more than enough information regarding where the Chinese hid. Ryuichi fisted his hands tight, there were even some veins that came invisible on his skin from the pressure he put.

That tight lips finally opened itself as the owner spoke, “Kirishima, I want you to prepare all of Fei Long’s deed that’s in our possession and make sure to bring it to me by tomorrow morning. I’m planning to ambush them as soon as possible.”, his voice was layered with unbeatable ice and frightening venom. Even the secretary cringed a bit upon seeing his boss, no, the demon that was finally awoken from his deep slumber.

“Are you sure you’re gonna comply to Liu Fei Long’s ransom, sir?”, the glasses guy asked, partially intended to keep his boss calm. To cool his head.

But he definitely froze when the golden-eyed man stood and strode towards him in a flash, grabbed his collar and lifted his whole presence on the air like he weighed nothing; Kirishima didn’t even have the chance to blink, “DON’T YOU DARE QUESTION MY DECISION!!”, he shouted, eyes burnt with eternal fire as he did so.

At that moment, Kirishima was so scared. Really scared. This was not his boss anymore, not his childhood friend anymore. This was another enraged animal that he unfortunately stepped on, and he was about to taste it’s wrath.

Before that worst possibility happen, the goon lowered his vision and bowed, before leaving the room with no sound as always.

Once the door was fully closed, Ryuichi got back to his post and stoo in front of the large window that showed the beautiful sight of the skyline of Shinjuku. He touched the cold surface slightly as he remembered all the things he had done wrong. Not only erasing the blond’s happiness, he had also put him in danger. Not just any danger on top of that. 

Takaba Akihito as caught in a war between two crimelords, and it’s because of the golden-eyed man.

I should have never done that. I should have never killed aniki. I should have never left him alone. 

I should have never loved him, he sighed. 

Regret washed over him again. If this was the chance God gives him to atone for his sins, he would do it. He would bring the blond back, even if it’s his life on the line.

* * *

It was morning the next daym when Asami Ryuichi woke up restlessly on his comfortable California-king bed. It was the destined day he would save Takaba Akihito and bring him back to the place he belonged. He immediately went to the bathroom and had a quick wash before wearing his usual suit for the day. He had told Kirishima to prepare everything by morning, so be it. Just as he was about to call said secretary, the glasses-guy knocked on the door rather hastily.

The door opened, revealing Kirishima Kei with a familiar black briefcase in his right hand.

“Asami – sama, everything is ready.”

The golden-eyed man nodded sternly and walked pass the goon, who froze on spot for 0.1 second. He quickly gained back his control and strode towards his boss, following his hard footsteps everywhere it goes.

* * *

The car that was driven by Suoh took a halt in front of a familiar, worn-out building. Ryuichi remembered the place, too well. That was the warehouse that belonged to Fei Long that he had burnt down years ago. He never thought that the Chinese would build it again without his knowledge. Silly.

Kirishima opened the door for the fixer politely and let him pass through. Ryuichi’s brilliant golden eyes seemed to know everything as he scanned the surroundings; probably checking if Fei Long plans to kill him from behind or not.

Striding inside the dark warehouse, blinding light suddenly emitted from the center of the room, revealing along-haired man with goons in black stationed behind him. Fearless, the fixer continued his way with Kirishima, Suoh, and several goons walked behind him.

The people that came from the entrance made Fei Long smiled sadistically. He then forward elegantly as if welcoming the late comers, “Good morning, my dear friend Asami Ryuichi. I see you have an exciting night.”, he mocked, acting rather nicely.

Ryuichi didn’t reply to that kind greeting, he just spoke venomously in return, “Just do this thing already. Where is Takaba Akihito?”

“Sshh.. relax. I’m no lying man. Bring him here!”, he ordered.

Minutes later, two men brought in another person who seemed to be unconscious in their hands. Ryuichi’s eyes stung the moment a familiar set of blond head came into his view.  
The beautiful hair that usually shimmered in the dark was covered by an insidious looking red liquid, it obviously hurt the fixer's eye. When they came closer, he saw everything. He saw every pain and misery the heartless Chinese had put him into. The punches, the hits, the slashes, everything was drawn all over that perfect-sculptured face. The bruises graced his cheeks as a dark circle rounded his right eye, whilst a trail of blood came down his chin. He didn't have any clothe to cover his torso, but thankfully, he still had his jeans on. But that, didn't decrease Ryuichi's anger even for a bit. 

The golden-eyed man dropped his vision on the concrete floor as he venomously asked, "What did you do to him?"

Fei Long realized that the question was indeed forward to him and he immediately answered, "I just had to do it. He couldn't shut up and kept on yelling bullshits like 'I don't want Ryuichi to come and save me'.", he snorted. 

That answer felt like a giant fist that hit him hard off the cliff, down to the abyss. That answer sucked him hard into the darkness, into the darkness that he once hated. Takaba Akihito shouted, yelled, and even pleaded to not be saved by him. Had the hatred finally consumed the blond's kindness? Did he finally realize that there's no, fucking way he would forgive the fixer like he did in the past? Those questions may probably remained unanswered. 

Ryuichi sighed. Yes, he knew from the start that his wicked sin was unforgivable, and the photographer was a prideful blond on top of that. Even if it costs his own life, he wouldn't want his enemy to fight for him, to save him, to protect him. Even if it costs his own life, he would do things on his own. 

When his boss didn't do anything, Kirishima took the initiative to move towards him and stood beside him. Adjusting his glasses, he drew closer towards his ear as he whispered, "Asami-sama, shall we?"

Ryuichi didn't glance at him. He just nodded. Everything had to be finished, everything had to be done. These problems he made with Fei Long, these problems he made with Takaba Akihito, he had sworn to himself he would finish them that day. He couldn't dwell in this kind of shit. He had a life, he had to move on, or else the regrets would slowly drive him insane.

The bespectacled guy inched closer towards one of the long-haired boss' men and handed him the black brief case containing the deed that originally belonged to the Chinese man. The goon accepted it fully and waited for a command, of course Fei Long nodded and the two men that manhandled the helpless blond moved forward and threw the victim towards the Japanese's. Ryuichi's men reflexively caught the photographer before his presence could touch the floor. Hell, that would be their last day of their life if they hurt the blond even further.

Once all of those were done, Ryuichi turned his heel and headed towards the exit. But Fei Long's cold voice stopped him, "What is this, Asami Ryuichi? It's highly unusual for you to constantly leave after having a confrontation with me.", he challenged, his eyebrow was slightly quirked up in a mocking manner.

The fixer didn't answer, he just continued his walk towards the blinding light from the outside world. His feelings were shaken, he didn't have any time to have a gunshot showdown. He just wanted to heal Akihito's wound, get him back to his home, and go back to his own life. Just that.

Fei Long only let out a heavy sigh before going back himself as well.

"Fei Long-sama, is it really alright?", one of his men said to him out of concern. Because the boss he usually knew was the person who would kill to get Asami Ryuichi's beating heart in his hand, and the boss usually desired to shatter that heart away.

But what replied him was only a chuckle, "No. It's no fun, after all he's not in the mood. I'm kind enough to let him settle with his life."

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so so sorry for the really late updatee!!X( school has been really really hectic last week and i had a band showdown yesterday so i had to keep practicing and it decrease my time to write an update! but Thank God i managed to update:b
> 
> i know, the conflict's too simple to handle, and fei long had become a big softie-_-i cant do more than that, after this maybe i should go writing a fluff..
> 
> I do not own The Finder Series
> 
> Random: Don't mean to brag, but hey the audience yesterday shouted 'we want more!' for my bandXD


	15. Asami's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> unedited. well, it's just 300 - 400 words alright..

When you were still unconscious and laid helplessly in my arms, I couldn't hold myself back to not hold you. Your body had ran cold it scared me to death. I wanted to warm you up, I was so badly wanted to, but turned out my warmth wasn't what you needed. You needed somebody else's warmth, the warmth that had long gone. The warmth that I had casted away because of my selfishness, foolishness. I only thought about myself. There was no 'what if's questions crossed my mind. I just did it.

 And here I thought I would be the only one you'd ever had, you'd only love, you'd only cherished. But the moment when your tears fell from your flushed cheeks proved me wrong. The sobs, the cries, the wailings, you had thrown all of those to me. There was no single laugh came out of your lips since the day when there was no one else excepted me. Why? I asked repeatedly.

 But I had finally understood. The only way for you to be happy was not by my side. I would do anything for you, I said. Even if it had to be leaving you in the end, I would do it. The fact that that was the only way killed me softly it hurt. Your presence was once more so close to mine yet I couldn't hold you with all my might.

 When the car went 'vroom' and the scenery had began to move slowly, I started to think that our time was running out. I took the chance to stroke your hair and kissed your forehead.

 Because I knew it wouldn't be that long till you would be gone from my life forever.

 There was only 39 minutes left till we reach the hospital. At least I still had the time to stare at your beautiful face.

 And I swore to you, this would be the last time I'd ever adored you.

 

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i cant resist to not add this first! and if i collide this with the next chapter, i think it would be weird.. so yeah..
> 
> I do not own the Finder Series.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> unedited.

"Sir, Takaba - san is waiting for you at the lobby."

 That name brought back the bitter memories. Against his will, his heart beat faster than before, and the flow of his blood seemed out of control. The adrenaline pump made him feel a little bit dizzy, the hammer pounded at the right side of his head mercilessly. A bead of sweat was immediately collected at the palm of his hand, the anxiety felt like choking him to death.

 But Asami Ryuichi knew about it all along, that no matter how long they were separated from each other, the blond would eventually confront him, dealing with their unsolved conflicts. And the fixer had prepared himself all day, all week.

 But he didn't seem ready enough to face him.

 "Bring him in.", he spoke out his hoarse, low-pitched voice in a professional manner.

  _This is going to be okay_ , he told himself repeatedly.

 Not even less than five minutes later, the mahogany door opened up slowly, intentionally tried to gain the attention of the golden eyed man, and it really was successful. Because the moment when the slight sound of the door being opened, those restless golden orbs immediately ran towards it, as if aware of the person who was right behind the door.

 The first thing he saw was the shagy strands of golden-blond hair, and the next was the stern and a blank expression of Takaba Akihito's poker face. Once the photographer was in, Ryuichi quickly observed him, scanned him from the tip of his hair to his toe. He gulped hard.

  _Damn, I adore him again._

 Akihito strode almost confidently and permitted himself to take a seat right in front of the man in suit. His hazel eyes glowed fire, flame, but somehow it radiated cold. Too much cold. Ryuichi had to take all of himself to not cringe.

 Both still in silent mode, unprepared to speak. When Ryuichi cleared his throat, the blond opened his eye wide as if he was awakened from a hypnotize; startled, "Oh, hi, Ryuichi.", he greeted simply, with no usual smile plastered on his face. His expression turned even darker than before.

 The fact hurt Ryuichi down to the core.

 "So, Takaba - san,", he leaned against his seat, "Care to tell me what brings you here?"

 "First, I just want to thank you because you saved me on the other event before.", Akihito unconsciously played with his fingers, "And second, I really feel the need to confront you regarding the fact that you did."

 Hearing that, Asami Ryuichi couldn't take it anymore, "Akihito, please, it's-"

 "I told you didn't I? That you don't have to save me. No, I even told you to NOT save me.", he huffed, "Do you know how it feels to be saved by a killer? Your lover's killer on top of that?", his voice rose a higher-pitched, his hands clasped together and gripped firmly, "Do you know how much I hate you to the stage where I feel contempt when you saved me?"

 The golden eyed man just shut his mouth; unable to speak. He let the blond observed him as much as he did in the beginning.

 Akihito spoke, "You never expected me to forgive you right? Even after you saved me?"

 Ryuichi slowly shook his head, "No. I've never expected for your forgiveness. After all, this is an unforgivable sin of mine.", he lifted up his head, "So, whatever you do after this is up to you. I swear on my own life, I would never, ever interfere with your decisions. There won't be any Asamis in your life, ever."

 The look on his eyes only glowed sincere, concern. Akihito had to avert his gaze from that intense stare for a minute to avoid any emotional break down. He calmed his sudden raged-breathing for a moment before speaking, "You seriously thought about this, didn't you?"

 Ryuichi didn't do anything but nodded.

 The blond slowly got up, lifting his head straight up and turned his heels around. He took steps towards the door that seemed to be like hours to take. He turned his head to see the fixer still sitting on his seat like there was a glue stuck on him,

 "Goodbye, Asami Ryuichi."

 The moment the door was closed, Ryuichi let out the sigh he had been holding for some quiet time now. His palms kept on sweating against his will. He rubbed the bridge of his nose anviously before sighing once again.

 He thought about it again. _Did I do the right thing?_

 He stood up, looking out at the great window just behind him, and touched the cold surface of the glass.

 Yes, indeed he did the right thing. Love is not about how you want it. It is about how you give yourself to the other, let your partner see and change you. He did wrong at the very start. He didn't give Akihito any choice. He just screwed his way up, and this happened.

_You may hate me for this, but everywhere you go,_

_These eyes of mine would never leave you._

* * *

 

 

_"Your skin,_

_Oh yeah your skin and bones,_

_Turn into_

_Something beautiful,_

_And you know,_

_For you I'd bleed myself dry,_

_For you I'd bleed myself dry._

 

_Look at the stars,_

_Look how they shine for you,_

_And all the things that you do."_

> **Notes for the Chapter:**

> well yup, here ya go.. probably my angsty-est story since i started writing. i am terribly sorry bcs i couldn't do a happy ending on this. bcs i thought that every story has to have moral values so yeah, i throw the 'bad guy never wins' moral:\ i know, that doesn't make an irrelevant reason-_- /started hitting myself/
> 
> anyway those lyrics are from Yellow, the song by Coldplay if you dont know. Idk, i just feel it is quiet match with how Ryu sees Aki in this story.
> 
> I hope you enjoy the story till the end, and i really thank you guys who support me to write this story, even though i wrote it immaturely..
> 
> I do not own the Finder Series!

**Author's Note:**

> Randomly posted this:/ lets see who wants the continuation of this story.. /le me slaps myself/
> 
> I do not own the Finder Series.


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